Friday, May 11, 2012

The Hulk

I'm not gonna share about the movie. But to share about the real hulk inside me.

I rarely shout at people on the street or get quarrel with other people in the room or even with my family. Unless I really stressed out.
So I always choose to keep quiet and swallow the unhappiness back, which I think this is not good for my stomach and my health.
Then I will turn my head and keep nagging my the other half. He become stress too.
So my mentor advise me to go for some exciting exercise, like Kick-boxing.
I did. It's feel soooooooo good after 1 hour training. But the next day pain-like-hell.
It's good for releasing the negative energy and power especially if you are a quiet person.

Going rally is also one of an exciting exercise. Besides walking, talking and chanting for few hours, you need to run and play hide-and seek with police. Better than paintball. What I feel the difference is, I feel stronger inside me after came back from Bersih 3.0 and kinda losing control.

Why? During the 709 I did not really shout out loud for "Bersih! Bersih!", because in my subconscious mind, I was not allowed to shout and even say thing out loud. I felt that there is one big "rock" blocking my throat. I wanted to but the "rock" giving me the problem. When I saw a big gang of people chanting happily, I was wondering how they did it so freely?

This time, 428, I don't care. I just want to try and overcome it. And I just follow and chanting out loud for million times. I really feel much better after I chanting with a big group of people and sing along with them! Honestly, I can feel the moment like I have switched on the energy button inside me. The power is huge and never-ended!

However, this energy is bothering me for a week and it drives me like crazy. I keep telling myself that I'm a human not an animal which I own higher level of wisdom. I'm controlling it. I can feel that but "The Hulk" inside me it's about to ready to come out.....

But I'm not HULK (keep hypnotize myself)!

Then, I exploded.

The day was shinny. I parked my car at the road side and waited for Oliver and Pang to came across the road to get on my car. When they finished putting the stuffs and I was about ready to drive, I heard a honk came from my side. So I looked at the right and see what happened, one lady driving the BMW started showing me the hand and ugly-wtf face to me...twice!

What the heck! I haven't move my car yet and you anxious lady acted like scolded-nobody-business. I pissed off. While Oliver and Pang haven't realized what was actually happened, I pressed my window down and shouted back:" Drive your road la, what you looking at? Fuck!!!"

That time, she kinda like wanted and hesitate to press down the window, and finally saw me pressed, she followed and show me the hands again....Honestly I couldn't hear what she said and saw her ugly face. But I wanted to go down and bang her car-(*imagine).

She using her hands to show me the power. I'm using my power voice to "bounce" it back.

And that moment, I realized that, for the past 27 years, this is the first time I did it to a stranger, publicly, at the roadside.

Damn. So embarrasing.

Oliver and Pang got shocked in the car. *-*

But I feel proud of myself. Well done, Jess. You made it.

You have changed the pattern, which you will not keep quiet and swallow the upset and turn to your loved one. You have reacted spontaneously and rectify the problem on the spot. :P

There's where I re-gain my power and right which I have lost long time ago. And I realized when and how I should speak up when things are not right. I have a way-"my voice" to help me to get the right thing.

Yesterday I returned a set of skincare products to saloon, costs about RM900+. I have been using it for a month and I feel my face so stress after using it. I had been thinking will they accept my return skincare?  I have only used less than 15% of the products. For my past experience, it always difficult to get the money back nor keep the return products. But I just want to try it, because it really not fair to me and I have been complaining to them that it's really not suit me. I want to see what they said.

When I started complaining, the manager acted very quickly, closed the door and talk btw the 4 walls , paying full attention to me. I feel cared. Then she offered me 2 solutions and really accept what I shared. I told that it's useless for me to keep these products when it's not suited for me. She agreed and calculated that 20% cost of pricing of all I bought & used. And I think it's fair and agreed. But we still haven't decided the money should  return to me or add on to the facial treatment package. At leaset now we have come to the conclusion that 20% is set.

 This is my in-depth journey story for this week. What's yours?

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